11 April 2018

With the approved Zoning Permit and Mr. Jonsered in hand, set out to attack the stand of trees where the barn will be situated, formerly the location of the barbeque pit that Chree, Geisha, and Shlomo dug back in June 2009.  First step was to move two piles of “used-but-good” lumber being stored under black tarps in that area.  Pulled the tarps off and found many furry creatures inhabiting the Trump Tower of mice nests.  Properly encouraged, the mice scampered away, inevitably going to join their not so wealthy cousins living in Delores.  With the exception of one 70 feet tall maple, all two dozen or so trees were easily taken down without coming anywhere near Delores or other fragile objects, i.e., yours truly..  The aforementioned last tree was leaning severely to the west… and needed to come down in an easterly direction, as destroying the house main power panel was not, I thought, a good idea.  So, set up my tall extension ladder, very gingerly climbed to the top (thinking, as I ascended, “Chree isn’t home, so if I fall off this thing I am totally fill in the blank.”), and attached my 100 feet x ¼″ steel cable.  With the other end of the cable fastened to the tractor backhoe, put a lot of tension on the tree.  So far, so good!  Made the front cut, then started the plunge cut to define the felling hinge.  The chainsaw went through the middle of the tree like there was nothing there because… there was nothing there, i.e, the tree was totally rotted out.  Understand that when pulling a tree down in a direction radically different than the one it naturally wants to go, a solid, extra thick felling hinge is absolutely critical.  Understand, too, that pulling a tree down with the tractor normally is a two person job… one not-too-bright gutsy lumberjack running the chainsaw and a life insurance beneficiary driving the tractor.  So, in baseball parlance, the count was 0 and 2… and Delores and I were just a tad bit nervous.  But, nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I cut the trigger (the small portion of the felling cut that is left intact until ready to drop the tree), then ran, not walked, to the tractor and drove away.  Five minutes after the tree hit the ground (right, I might add, where it was supposed to), Perry arrived…  No surprise, after using a chainsaw all day for the first time in six months, I was pretty much knackered by this point.  So, while Perry cut up and hauled away hardwood firewood, I downed one of the best tasting whiskey and gingers ever… and 1,600 mg of Ibuprofen.